I am grateful to be sober every day, but the last couple of days has me thinking about it a lot more than I usually do. Austin and I have some friends, a married couple, that we know through the program. They are both early in sobriety, and trying to start a new life of recovery as a couple. Last week they relapsed…together. I guess that is the risk you take when both halves of a relationship are alcoholics. When one goes down, there is always the potential for the other to follow. That’s a pretty scary scenario. It breaks my heart that our friends are going through all of this. They both want to be sober, and they are committed to getting back on the wagon, but it seems like the road ahead of them is awfully bumpy. I really feel for them, I hate to see them in pain. But seeing what they are going through also makes me recognize just how lucky I am to be where I am right now.
Twenty months ago, I was right where our friends are, married to another alcoholic, relapsing and feeling hopeless, not wanting to drink, but not able to cope sober. I was fortunate though, that Austin didn’t join me in my relapse. Seeing our friends makes me realize that could’ve easily happened. Thank God Austin didn’t pick up too. What would’ve happened then? I shudder to think. What would’ve happened if it had been the other way around? If Austin had relapsed, what would I have done? Would I have sent him to rehab, like he did for me? Or joined him in drinking? I don’t know. I hope I never have to know the answer to that question.
As I think about all of this, and it has really been on my mind a lot, I am so grateful to be sober. Sometimes I need to be reminded of how it feels to be in active alcoholism, I need to keep that feeling fresh, so that I never have to go back there. I have to remember how fortunate I am that Austin and I work our programs both together and individually, that we don’t rely only on each other to maintain our sobriety. I think that’s the most important thing couples in recovery can do; be supportive, give each other a lot of grace, and allow each other to work their own program.
Today, and every day, I am happy to be in recovery. I am grateful that I no longer have the desire to drink to cope with life, and I pray that it stays that way forever.
2 thoughts on “Gratitude – July 16”
I am grateful for this post today.. Though my other half has no intention on recovery, I see the struggle daily with my sobriety because of it..
Great article! I am actually grateful for getting sick, so physically ill with a cerebral leak, unheard of pain for months and panic attacks thinking I wouldn’t wake up; that I prayed for a second chance on life… And haven’t drank since, going on a year Aug 1st. Amazing how the hardships become the saviors.