Why Do We Self-Sabotage in Recovery?

Being in recovery for the last ten years has taught me a lot about myself and other recovering addicts. While we’re all unique individuals with different, often dysfunctional, histories, we also have a lot in common. One of the most common similarities that I’ve seen time and time again is our ability to self-sabotage. Addiction …

When Relapse is Part of Addiction Recovery

I'm back! Back to writing and blogging for myself and not just for work. I wish that I could say that I'm back and I've stayed sober for the last couple of years, but that wouldn't be the truth. I had a relapse in September 2019. Fortunately, it was a one-time, one-day relapse, from which …

Gratitude – July 20

  Last night our friends who recently relapsed came over for dinner.  They have a few days of new sobriety under their belts and we thought that it might be nice for them to get out of the house and away from the guilt and shame they were feeling.  We spent several hours talking about …

No more ping-pong for me

In Alcoholics Anonymous, I have heard those people who go in and out of the program over and over again, called ping-pong balls.  They bounce back and forth between sobriety and drinking.  I was one of those people for a while, not able to stay sober, but not wanting to continue drinking either.  I would …

Keeping It Fresh

My husband secretly recorded my last drunk.  He told me that he had done so while I was in rehab, but it took me almost three months to be brave enough to watch it.  It was painful to watch what I become when I put alcohol in my body.  It was hard for me to …